Things That Do Not Mean The Same Thing

There has been lots going on lately-- mostly getting ready to travel to France and Spain during our break that begins Saturday-- but no big noteworthy stories.  (All seems pale in comparison to the ball!)  Not wanting to abandon my loyal readers, of course, I thought I would present you with the first few entries in an ever-growing list.

Things That Do Not Mean The Same Thing

Breaking the Language Barrier, One Pepperoncini At A Time

1. "Pfefferoni" does not mean the same thing as "Pepperoni."

Nope.  Nope nope nope, it doesn't mean "pepperoni" even a little bit.  We learned this the hard way, naturally.  Terribly famished and equally thrilled to find a very cheap, very close pizzeria right down the street from our apartment, one night we decided to order a giant pepperoni and mushroom pizza.  We got a great kick out of sounding like we had both a speech impediment (just try saying "pfefferoni!") and an affinity for old pizza (the mushroom pizza is called "Pizza Funghi!").  Imagine our great surprise when instead of this: 

we got a pizza full of these:

Mmmmmm, pepperoncinis.  It was a taste explosion.  And by taste explosion, I mean that I suffered a little bit.  But it was a good laugh, and now we know better.  We've also discovered that one must order a Pizza Salami to get pepperoni and a Pizza Paprika to get bell peppers.  Furthermore, when the waiter says "Do you want me to take care of that?" he doesn't mean "Do you want me to wrap that up for you?", rather, "Do you want me to feed that to the kitchen workers?"

2. "Ich bin heiß"does not mean the same thing as "Mir ist heiß."

I mean, technically they do.  "Ich bin heiß" means "I am hot."  "Mir ist heiß" means "It's hot to me."  Same thing, right?  Unfortunately, "Ich bin heiß" is pretty taboo in normal conversations.  Far from indicating body temperature, it doesn't even mean "I think I'm a sexy mama."  Nope. It's reserved from those very special times at which you want to let someone know that you're feeling exceptionally frisky (!).

I don't really know what's up with these temperature-related words, though.  You can't say "Ich bin warm" either, even if you're feeling warm... unless you feel like hitting on another person of the same gender.  And if you say "Ich mache dich kalt" ("I'll make you cold") you're threatening to murder someone!

3. "I love dogs" does not mean the same thing as "I love other furry animals."

Let me elaborate.  Dogs are welcomed guests in many cafes, bakeries, shops, train stations, et cetera.  The Viennese are very fond of this canine companionship and take their pups pretty much everywhere.

However, due to the weather, the Viennese also stay pretty bundled up during the winter.  For some, this means a cozy fleece or a giant hand-knit scarf or one of those puffy jackets.  For others, however, it means a couple of good old-fashioned skinned animals.  Mmmmm.  

Seriously, though, floor-length fur coats and matching hats are pretty much the uniform for any rich Wiener over the age of forty.  It doesn't really bother me that much, but it does kind of look funny when someone dressed head-to-toe in fur is toting around her little chihuahua in her purse.  

It's an interesting paradox.  One, I've found, best mulled over when viewing the following picture:

Hehehe.